“Every man must do two things alone; he must do his own believing and his own dying.” Martin Luther
The death of a loved one evokes primal emotions. Closer the deceased, stronger the sentiment. Loss of life isn’t just the death of a person in the clinical sense of the word. For the anguished souls left behind, the loss of life is the loss of a lifetime shared together. The fragile web of memories woven together over the years gone by, now becomes the only remaining anchor to cling on to. The sense of suffering is so deep, it may take years to heal.
The crushing grief which accompanies the weight of sorrow, may bend with the force of time.
It may reduce its echo, but the murmur of pain remains.
Sorrow, heartache and helplessness can cleverly use the vulnerability of a desolate soul and quickly transform themselves into anger, frustration and even hate.
Grief explodes and spits out a range of all-consuming, powerful feelings in the form of a tidal wave. A force which seems to pull us down under, dragging us down till we hit rock bottom. It is then, that the deep wounds long-buried under the sands of time, begin to resurface. Lacerations of hurt which we over the years, have been carefully healed begin to throb with renewed discomfort. Scars which even our active mind had forgotten existed, open up again. Throbbing like a fresh injury. An intense and constant sense of discomfort builds up within. The pain refuses to soften.
The anguished soul left behind, wants respite from the world. A place to hide and heal, but no matter where he goes, the anguish follows. There is just no peace.
Is it wrong to feel this way? Are these emotions misplaced and unwarranted? Why don’t others feeling the same intensity of anguish?
Is their sense of loss not as monumental as mine? How is everyone ready to move on from a state of burning bereavement to calm acceptance?
It seems there is a rush to expedite the healing process and move on. But why?
Does my manner of mourning need the approval of society?
The human mind has proved its ability to create ways to traverse space and yet at times is unable to navigate its own abyss of darkness.
Unsolicited thoughts and unanswered questions can haunt the very core of our being. Yet we prevail. Human resilience surprises us in some form everyday. It the core of our being. We all have it. In the lives of some it gets explored, tested and challenged more than once and for some it may never need to be summoned at all. Nevertheless it exists.
The triumph of the human mind is not in its innumerable creations visible to the eye but in the unseen internal victories it quietly celebrates.
The true moment of human glory is not on the world stage but in the familiar comfort of its daily life. It is here that it learns, each day how best to live in peace within its own shadows. Its success is not defined by the accolades it accumulates but by the sheer skill with which it tides over. Resurrecting itself over and over again. The soul joins hands with the mind and in these rare moments the heart too gives its grudging acceptance. With all three speaking the same language, the process of HEALING begins again.
Even in the most fragile moments of life the human mind has the capacity and the capability to disintegrate itself only to emerge wiser and stronger.
Urvashi Kumar Trikha
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